No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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