If that was your dad, he is hot
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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