Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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