I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize