just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
