Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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