It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
