No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
