i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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