He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
