she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize