Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
