Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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