is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize