no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
