Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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