I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize