More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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