By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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