forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
