laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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