I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
