I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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