I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They have beer where we have blood.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize