im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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