I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
