Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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