Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
