i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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