I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
