i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
