Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
