problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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