my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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