It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
