can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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