We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
