you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
