There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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