thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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