I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize