i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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