Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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