i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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