38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
