I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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