Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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