i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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