I smell stomach acid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize