please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
