I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
