so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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