i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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