Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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