I'm gonna have a badass scar
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
