i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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