marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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