wanna go halves on a baby?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
