small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize