Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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