somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
