I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
