he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
