btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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