was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
