woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
