Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
